


kazuichi and gundham stop fighting for 2 minutes challenge

by gaybutokay



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Theatre, Biphobia, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Minor Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki, Monokuma is an asshole, One-Sided Sonia Nevermind/Soda Kazuichi, Rivalry, Slow Burn, minor owari akane/tsumiki mikan, minor pekoyama peko/mioda ibuki, one-sided sonia nevermind/tanaka gundham
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25543027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaybutokay/pseuds/gaybutokay
Summary: kazuichi and gundham are forced to work together on an assignment in theatre, and it's... not exactly what either of them want.  but,,, if you're gonna have to kiss in front of your entire class, might as well make it enjoyable.
Relationships: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham
Comments: 8
Kudos: 126
Collections: Celi started reading





	1. guess we're partners

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS FOR U KAI THANK U FOR THE MONEY KISS KSIS KSIS KSISSSKSSSSSS KISS

“okay, kiddos!! today, we’re doing something fun!!,” monokuma announced, peaking the attention of ibuki.

“really?!!?!! what is it? what is it? ARE WE SETTING THE SCHOOL ON FIRE??!!!!,” ibuki excitedly screamed. most everyone knew that arson wasn’t going to be on the agenda in their theatre class that day, but fuyuhiko was deterred to make sure ibuki felt stupid for even suggesting it.

“really, mioda? has the fuckin’ crack you injected into your bloodstream fried your brain as much as your hair?” fuyuhiko smirked to himself, proud of his insult. nobody else seemed to care about the witty line, but damn did he feel accomplished!!

“settle down, boss baby!!” monokuma’s nickname for the yakuza instantly ruined his mood, causing him to slouch back into his chair and look up to the board at both of their teachers… fuck, this school was weird.

“today, we’re going to do partner theatre exercises!!! isn’t that fun, class?” most everyone gave the same groan of something along the lines of ‘okay…’ or ‘no…’, but monokuma didn’t decide to pry. it was funny enough seeing all the brats this tired and exhausted of his jokes, especially because of his plan to make everyone very uncomfortable!! “how it’s going to work, is you and a partner will be working together. there’s… 16 of ya’, so no groups of three!! then, y’gotta pick out of this bin what your scene will be!! no trading, no arguing, no bickering, no fighting, and absolutely NO SUCKING!!” that was sure as hell bound to rile the kids up, right?

most of the kids did nothing in response. they were bored, and monokuma’s weird lesson was not going to hype them up at all.

“well!! what are you idiots waiting for?!?! partner up, get yourselves all in order, and be quick with it!! i don’t have time!! my battery will die!!!… and all that… stuff…” monokuma rambled as he stood at the head of the classroom, his pink counterpart cocking her head in confusion.

“um… i don’t think your battery will die yet…,” monomi commented, which just seemed to piss off her brother even more.

“shut!!! up!!!! just,,, BRATS!!!! HURRY UP!!!!”

with monokuma’s annoyed scream, all the students seemingly jumped out of their seats and looked for partners. kazuichi and gundham both looked directly at sonia, running to her at the quickest speed they could.

kazuichi was closer to sonia, so he got there a few seconds before gundham. they both spoke over one another, trying to get sonia’s attention more than the other could.

“mi-miss sonia!! i’m sure you want to be pa-“

“fear not, princess, for i will protect you from this man’s sten-“

“you and i are best friends, right miss son-“

“he cannot do anything as well as i!! it is impossi-“

“actually…” sonia butted in, pointing across the room to someone. “i was… gonna work with him. i mean… i can’t really pick between you two, and nobody would want to work with him, so i thought i’d do the right thing and be his partner!! i’m sorry, boys! but, you may want to work together!! it could be fun!!” and with that, sonia skipped off to… n a g i t o.

both men were completely astonished. what the hell just happened? were they now forced to work together? was there any possible way for them to work around this? they both looked for any person around the room that was not yet with a partner, but they were more than disappointed at what they saw.

kazuichi first noticed akane and mikan standing next to each other, a smile and a light blush across mikan's face. akane looked to be telling some kind of story maybe? maybe she was talking about a dream? whatever it was, she was super passionate about it, per usual for akane. homegirl was always excited about something.

gundham noticed peko and ibuki standing side by side as well, ibuki reaching for peko’s sword as peko seemed annoyed, but not enough to be angry. it was definitely a strange friendship, but it wasn’t gundham’s place to say how weird it was… even if it was really, really weird…

of course, hiyoko and mahiru were together as well, mainly because nobody else would work with either of them. they didn’t mind, they loved working together! hiyoko was scarfing down some gummies, but handed each yellow one to mahiru, who gratefully accepted.

hajime and chiaki were also together, but chiaki didn’t seem to be paying much attention. her head was laid down on her desk, her eyes closed tight, and her nintendo switch laying next to her. hajime was seemingly talking to a sleeping chiaki, but chiaki's head would shake yes or no every now and then. kazuichi assumed that she was just tired.

nekomaru and byakuya were together as well, as they made an alliance earlier on in the year as the “beefy boys”. they seemed to just be content with each other’s presence.

fuyuhiko was, reluctantly, next to teruteru, as they both had nobody else to work with. fuyuhiko looked like he wanted to stab himself in the stomach, but teruteru looked… excited? he’s weird. that’s weird.

and, of course, sonia and nagito sitting together, talking about… something. both boys scoffed at the sight, then turning back to each other.

“i do not wish to work with you,” gundham said with a deep groan. his comment simply earned an eye roll from kazuichi.

“shut up!! i don’t wanna work with you either!! you smell like rats…”

“oh- those are not RATS, kazuichi, they are my FOUR DARK DEVA-”

“THEY’RE LITERALLY GLORIFIED RATS, TANAKA!!” 

“YOUR THOUGHTS ON MY DEVAS DO NOT MATTER! besides… you’re one to talk about stench.”

“the hell, man? i don’t smell bad!!”

“you most definitely do not smell appealing,” gundham said with a smirk of his own, proud of his retort.

“well you don’t look appealing!! your hair is turning grey already?! what are ya’, 15?” kazuichi was never the best at insults, as he was more used to recieving the insults rather than delivering them. he hoped that he was doing well!

“i am well over two million years old, kazuichi!! i have been alive since man was born, and i will never die!!” gundham said with a prideful tone, annoying the mechanic more than he thought was physically possible.

kazuichi rolled his eyes yet again with a smirk of his own. “…yeah. y’don’t look a day over ten.”

their bickering was put to a pause when monokuma same over with a bucket, telling them to pick out a card from it. gundham reached in, choosing a random card, and gasping at the words written on it.

‘you and your partner are lovers that have been separated for years. now you see each other again. hug, kiss, and be sure to let the audience know you’re in love!!’

“no. i demand a new card!” gundham huffed, throwing the card by his side.

kazuichi stole the card from gundham’s hand before reading it himself. he gasped at the words, but he knew nothing would give monokuma the heart to let them switch it. he simply ripped up the card, which earned a trademark cackle from the bear.

“yak yak yak!! kazuichi, you realize that i can’t take it back now, even if i wanted to?” monokuma’s smirk was somehow even audible in his voice.

“what!?!! that’s not- wha- i- you- GOD!!” kazuichi shouted, turning the room eerily silent. after all, if ibuki is in a room and it’s silent, then it’s gotta be a pretty big deal.

“YAK YAK YAK!! happy smoochin’, boys!!” monokuma walked away and towards another group.

great.


	2. bro no homo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i mean no homo at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me ; UP IN A FEW HOURS  
> me , 10 hours later ; HERE'S CHAPTER 2

kazuichi reluctantly knocked on gundham’s door, a frown already across his face. this was already the worst day of his life, and it was only 8 am. he really had to work with gundham? on a prompt about hugging? and kissing? and being in love? no, not for him. that was not his cup of tea by any means. 

kazuichi was raised to love girls. his dad wasn’t very supportive of any of his actions, calling the ones that were more feminine, like dying his hair pink, mistakes. kazuichi’s father didn’t take a lot of criticism for what he did, but boy did kazuichi get criticized for everything.

a minor mess-up on one of the bikes at the shop, accidentally tripping and falling in the street, even showering and eating at the wrong times would jumpstart a battle of who would yell the loudest, have the most valid points, and who would in the end be declared the victim. it wasn’t fair to kazuichi, but it led him to this point- thriving and loud as he could be in a school where his dad no longer had any control over what happened to him. it was therapeutic in many ways, honestly, but… damn. he was tired of being made fun of.

he thought that if people, like gundham, realized that kazuichi wasn’t some awful person that was only existing to be loud, annoying, and vibrant as ever, they’d like him a lot more. he knew that he wasn’t some awful person that was deserving of the bullying, teasing, and the ridicule that his classmates gave him, but it was how it was.

gundham was raised by his mom, who he loved very much, but he had lots of pent up hatred for his dad. his father was a demon, in his eyes, and not in the good way. gundham never wanted to see or hear from his father again, realizing that nothing in the world would be able to fix that pain that was caused by his father leaving him so young, but he always had a lot of things he wanted to explain to his father.

he wanted to talk to his father about his current life, in hope’s peak, with his dark devas of destruction. he wanted to tell his father that he was accepted into hope’s peak in the first place, as it was such an elite school that he even had fans dedicated to him. sadly, he knew that they mainly liked him for his cool looks and witty lines every now and then, but he was completely alright with that. if he was liked for being himself, then why would he bother changing at all?

this didn’t leave room for growth, or improvement, in any way. he never changed, he never actually let his character develop, and he honestly did not want to try. he always saw himself as too good to change, while also being too bad to stay the same. it didn’t make much sense to any onlookers, especially kazuichi, but they assumed that they were both enigmas that the other would never have the facilities to understand.

after what seemed like hours of staring at gundham’s door and waiting the courage to finally knock, he felt his hand reach out and knock lightly on the door. gundham, who was busy listening to videos of people telling scary stories on youtube, didn’t hear the knock, of course, causing kazuichi to knock even harder with an annoyed groan.

“ugggghhhhhh!!!! HAMSTER-CHAN!!! OPEN UP BEFORE I BREAK DOWN YOUR STUPID DOOR!!!” his shout was loud enough to alert gundham, who shot up and opened the door.

“…ah. we must…” gundham let out a deep sigh as he remembered exactly what their scene entailed. “…practice.”

kazuichi nodded, stepping into the animal breeder’s room and being sure to avoid the cages at all cost. they were stinky. eww. gundham rolled his eyes at the mechanics effort to avoid the cages.

“listen, hamster-chan, i found a way that we can ‘kiss’ without actually kissing. some website told me how after i googled ‘how not to kiss your enemy because he smells awful’.” 

gundham smirked, chuckling to himself. “how humorous… it just so happens that i searched the internet for the answer to that question as well.”

kazuichi rolled his eyes with a huff. man, this guy really was the worst, huh? he took a few steps to gundham, looking at the script that they’d prepared. they had to perfect this now, as the presentation was tomorrow. they had no time for bickering… they just had to do it.

kazuichi reluctantly placed his hand on gundham’s, sighing at the cold temperature. “damn!! do you seriously have no blood in your hands… this is like holding ice…”

“i would hope so…” gundham smirked even more. smirky boy. “i just so happen to be gundham tanaka, the overlord of ic-“

“you’re the overlord of shut the fuck up and do what i say!! i don’t want to fail, and your stupid ominous rants!!” kazuichi groaned, guiding gundham’s hand under his chin. he wrapped gundham’s hand around his own cheek, then putting the breeder’s thumb on his lip. “okay...”

“...i know this is weird, hamster-chan, but... you need to kiss your finger, not my lips. just focus on that, alright?”

gundham realized that his cheeks were turning pink and they felt... warm... woah. that’s weird. this was all too intense for him... he always thought that his first kiss would be with sonia, but... i guess everything is weird at this school.

gundham started the scene with his line, trying hard to remember it all. “ah- my love! i have returned from battle!!”

kazuichi, reluctantly, spoke in a high voice to mimic that of a female. “yay!! i have missed you more than i’ll ever be able to explain!!”

gundham leaned in, reluctantly kissing his thumb on top of kazuichi’s lip. god... this was gross... he totally wasn’t blushing because he wanted more- NO. gundham didn’t want to move his finger and just see what it felt like... no. not this, not now. he pulled back, his face the same color as kazuichi’s hair.

kazuichi was also a blushing mess. geez... was he starting to see what sonia saw in him? GROSS. but... he couldn’t help but blush the same shade as gundham.

“i love you, my queen,” gundham said, smiling pridefully to himself.

kazuichi smiled, oddly enough, and pulled gundham into a hug.

“i love you too...”

they both pulled back afterwards, just staring at each other for a moment. was that feeling mutual? was this thing mutual?

kazuichi gave up thinking and simply ran out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading  
> ily


	3. late night contemplations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after the "kiss", kazuichi is left with mixed thoughts. does he like gundham? if so,,, that's SO not poggers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE I KIND OF LOST MOTIVATION FHSDIFHS
> 
> also soz that it is short baes

this was the opposite of what kazuichi wanted to lay awake thinking of tonight.

staring at his ceiling and questioning his sexuality was something he almost never did, and if he felt those thoughts coming on, he would try to push them away through thoughts of the girl he was interested in at the time. sonia was beautiful!! her hair was so healthy and it always looked like she spent her time perfecting it,,, her eyes were piercing and even made the strongest of people question themselves,,, her pale skin looked almost like it would be as soft as a baby’s, and he just wanted to reach out and touch it for himself sometime,,, and,,,

oh god.

he’s envisioning gundham, isn’t he?

kazuichi violently shook his head, trying to get those thoughts to leave, at least for the moment. after seventeen years of being comfortable as a straight man,,, why now? why right when everything else was going amazing in his life did he go back to questioning this? he always had the minor idea in the back of his mind that told him he may not be 100% straight, but he thought that would be okay, so long as he was at least only getting crushes on women.

but, alas. here he was, gundham tanaka, occupying his thoughts.

“ugh… what the hell..!!! this sucks,” he commented to himself, sitting up in his bed. 

“well,,, nobody can see me, so,,,”

after a moment of silent debate, kazuichi decided he was going to do another test to see if he liked gundham, or liked the physical connection that they had. after all, how was he to know that this wasn’t just excitement and misplaced attraction from the way that he felt when sitting with him?

even if kazuichi didn’t like to admit it, he knew deep down that he wasn't the man that he thought he was. he knew that he was not irresistible; that was just obvious. there was no way in hell that someone that was irresistible could be turned down so many times, especially by their oh so obvious crush. though, kazuichi had hope.

maybe people just hadn't seen him in that light yet. hopefully, people would learn to see him in that light if he tried to show himself off. maybe he would feel the love that he wanted to and feel the comfort he needed if he looked a little different. maybe if he dyed his hair a normal color, filed his teeth down to a normal size, perhaps even changed the haircut altogether, people would like him. maybe the reason he thought of gundham this way was just because sonia liked him more than she liked kazuichi.

kazuichi shook out his thoughts, taking a deep breath and trying to compose himself. as he sat on his bed, alone in the dark, he gently placed his hand on his cheek where gundham had his own earlier that day.

“…fuck.”

he tried to close his eyes and envision anyone else holding him, sonia,,, ibuki,,, hell, even hajime would be better than gundham, but for some reason, his heart and head agreed on one smelly, loud, annoying, ugly, rude, and somehow, despite everything, perfect person.

“…i like gundham tanaka..”

“can this day get any weirder?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading  
> ily  
> 


End file.
